Here is my first rough cut which gives an idea of what my opening will look like. I will still play around with the font of my titles and look at other soundtracks which may work better.
Your first shot is effective, although I would make the fade-in a little longer to match the audio. You might want to consider adding studio idents at the start, before the credits (I have the Lionsgate one on file).
There is a glitch in the first transition (the second shot is frozen for about 1s before Bea starts swinging). Easy to rectify. I quite like the focus/ zoom, although it is a little shakey. I also quite like the jump cut between Bea on the swing and the empty swing, although it would be better if you could match the direction of the swing.
I think the studio is called "Dimension Films" - check this. Some of the shots are held a little longer than I think they need to be (the empty swing, the clock); the shot of the clock is again a little shakey. The shot of Bea at 00:35 is slightly out of focus. I'm also not keen on the reverse-zoom here - it's very jerky and doesn't work well (it would need to be a lot smoother to have the effect you seem to want to create). This shot is held for way too long. You have a continuity glitch with the next shot (01:02, Bea with the pills) - consider where her hands are. Again, the CU is out of focus. It's a little odd that you have the same type of shot (CU with a reverse zoom) twice in a row - is this something you've seen somewhere else? Again, the reverse is very jerky.
You have a continuity error at 01:34 (Bea exiting the door). Again, your camera movement here is very jerky, both the pan and the reverse zoom. There are some odd commas on your credits (e.g. "Costumes by," - you don't need the comma. Again, the shot of Bea on the landing is held for a lot longer than is needed - could do with cutting to some CUs (e.g. her hands, her face). the shot of her entering the bathroom is a lot more effective in terms of continuity; there is a good sequence here, although again a shame the shot of Bea in the mirror is slightly out of focus. Not sure about the ending; I think the use of dissolves here lessens the impact, although it does match the soundtrack.
If possible, you should aim to re-edit to sort out the continuity; I think considering the nature of the shoot it would be hard to reshoot the out of focus material, so you will probably just have to live with this.
Your first shot is effective, although I would make the fade-in a little longer to match the audio. You might want to consider adding studio idents at the start, before the credits (I have the Lionsgate one on file).
ReplyDeleteThere is a glitch in the first transition (the second shot is frozen for about 1s before Bea starts swinging). Easy to rectify. I quite like the focus/ zoom, although it is a little shakey. I also quite like the jump cut between Bea on the swing and the empty swing, although it would be better if you could match the direction of the swing.
I think the studio is called "Dimension Films" - check this. Some of the shots are held a little longer than I think they need to be (the empty swing, the clock); the shot of the clock is again a little shakey. The shot of Bea at 00:35 is slightly out of focus. I'm also not keen on the reverse-zoom here - it's very jerky and doesn't work well (it would need to be a lot smoother to have the effect you seem to want to create). This shot is held for way too long. You have a continuity glitch with the next shot (01:02, Bea with the pills) - consider where her hands are. Again, the CU is out of focus. It's a little odd that you have the same type of shot (CU with a reverse zoom) twice in a row - is this something you've seen somewhere else? Again, the reverse is very jerky.
You have a continuity error at 01:34 (Bea exiting the door). Again, your camera movement here is very jerky, both the pan and the reverse zoom. There are some odd commas on your credits (e.g. "Costumes by," - you don't need the comma. Again, the shot of Bea on the landing is held for a lot longer than is needed - could do with cutting to some CUs (e.g. her hands, her face). the shot of her entering the bathroom is a lot more effective in terms of continuity; there is a good sequence here, although again a shame the shot of Bea in the mirror is slightly out of focus. Not sure about the ending; I think the use of dissolves here lessens the impact, although it does match the soundtrack.
If possible, you should aim to re-edit to sort out the continuity; I think considering the nature of the shoot it would be hard to reshoot the out of focus material, so you will probably just have to live with this.